


Three's Company

by sksNinja



Category: One Piece
Genre: 3-zoro style, Established relationship?, I'll stop writting ZoSan when it stops being so much fun, Implied Smut, M/M, Prompt Fic, now with more marimos!, poor Sanji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksNinja/pseuds/sksNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Zoro was obnoxious enough.  Three Zoros was simply unreasonable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's Company

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fic in celebration of [DCS's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkChibiShadow/pseuds/DarkChibiShadow) [ZoSan Month](http://onigirifortwo.tumblr.com/post/145314409610/as-some-of-you-may-know-i-go-hard-as-fuck-for-my) on tumblr.
> 
> Art inspiration from [velolciraptor](http://velolciraptor.tumblr.com/) can be found [here](http://65.media.tumblr.com/90420ecd744b5922cf486c3518b7d9d3/tumblr_o95nqyMQm11r979fjo1_1280.jpg).

Two Zoro’s was too many.  

 

Fucking hell, half the time one Zoro was too many.  

 

Sanji stood near the edge of the crowd, attempting to will away the oncoming headache, as he watched three goddamn marimos beat and yell at each other. 

 

Three of them.  Sanji closed his eyes and rubbed his palms down his face.  He slowly opened them.  Nope.  Still three.  ‘Fucking goddamn what the fuck did that shitty swordsman-’ he stopped, sighed, and lit a cigarette.  Only one way to find out. 

 

“The fuck did you do now?”  Sanji called as he stepped through the crowd.

 

Three green heads turned to face the voice.  

 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I don’t need need your help!”  

“Sanji?!”

 

Sanji paused to look at the one who’d actually said his name.  The Zoro’s face scrunched in near horror at what he’d done.

 

“Ahhh!  You embarrassing shit-head!”  The Zoro next to him called out.  “And give me Wado!   She’s mine!”

 

The pair of Zoros began fighting once more.  Both of them trying to gain control over the other’s sword.   The remaining Zoro looked between them and Sanji, sighed, and strolled over to the blonde, securing what looked like Shusui at his side.  He turned to look at him.

 

Several moments passed before Sanji gave in and spoke.  

 

“So…” he paused to exhale a breath of smoke, ”you going to tell me what happened?”

 

The Zoro rubbed the back of his head in irritation.  “Ran into some witch in an alley.  She said some shit, this happened, and she disappeared.” 

 

Sanji waited for him to continue but the marimo continued to stare ahead in silence. 

 

“Some help you are,” he sighed.  Sanji moved toward the remaining two Zoros.  One of them had tied their bandana around their head and had unsheathed Kitetsu threateningly. 

 

“I don’t care if you’re me or part of me or whatever!   I  _ will  _ take-”  His rant was cut short by a kick to the back of the head.

 

The Zoro clutching Wado looked surprised and relieved as the other stood up with sputtering insults.

 

“Look here,” Sanji interrupted, looking between the two.  “You were an idiot and now there’s three of you.”  He glared at the two of them.  “How do we fix this?”

 

The pair looked to each other and Wado-Zoro shrugged.  “It sounded like it's temporary.” 

 

“Yeah!” Kitetsu-Zoro exclaimed.  “So just hand her over!”  He grabbed for Wado again.

 

“No!”

 

Sanji stepped between them.  “Chill out moss-for-brains.  You each have a sword.  That’s fine for now.”

 

“Ya wanna fight shit cook?”  Kitetsu-Zoro grabbed Sanji’s tie and pulled him forward.  Dark eyes examined Sanji’s face, seemingly having come to a decision.  He drew him closer with a grin. 

 

A flash of steel blew by Sanji’s nose, cutting tie and cigarette short as Kitetsu-Zoro jumped back; blade ready.  Sanji turned in time to see Wado-Zoro resheathe his sword.

 

Sanji’s brain caught up with what had happened.  “That was my tie you bastard!”  He stalked forward and jabbed a finger at the idiot’s chest.  “Seriously!?  What the fuck?!”

 

“He was going to-!”  Wado-Zoro turned away with a twinge of color in his cheeks.

 

Kitetsu-Zoro chuckled lowly, sword resting over his shoulder.  

 

Sanji raised his hands exasperatedly.  “Gah!  I don’t care!  All of you!  Back to the ship!”  He strode back toward Shusui-Zoro to find him leaning against a tree, eyes closed.  The crowd had mostly dispersed.

 

“You!  Move it!”  He kicked the side of his boot in irritation.

 

Shusui-Zoro grumbled, stood, and started walking in the opposite direction.  

 

“Oh no you don’t!”  Sanji grabbed him by the back of his collar and stalked back toward the other two.

 

Wado-Zoro stood cross-armed and angry as Kitetsu-Zoro muttered softly, making gestures with his hands.  At least he’d finally sheathed Kitetsu.

 

The muttering cut off as Sanji approached.  Kitetsu-Zoro smirked as Wado-Zoro went red.

 

Sanji held up a hand.  “I. don’t. care.  Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

Sanji practically collapsed in one of the galley’s spinning chairs, and removed his ruined tie.  Between their grumbling, in-fighting, and attempts at wandering off, it had taken him  _ hours  _ to herd the three idiots back to the Sunny.  The sun was beginning to set.

 

“Hey.” One of the Zoros pulled on Sanji’s sleeve.

 

“ _ What, _ ” Sanji drawled, eyes pressed closed.  A stomach grumbled, followed by the sound of two others.  He pried open his eyes and gave them unimpressed look.  

 

In resignation, Sanji lit up and walked over to unlock the fridge.  “Well then, what do you want to eat?”  He was met by a series of shrugs.

 

“Just make whatever,” said Kitetsu-Zoro.

 

“Yeah,” Wado-Zoro added. “Everything you make is good.”

 

Sanji coughed as he nearly swallowed his cigarette.

 

Shusui-Zoro huffed a short laugh and laid back on bench along the wall.

 

Kitetsu-Zoro moved to unsheathe his blade, clearly wanting to attack someone, but seemingly torn over who.

 

Sanji moved to intervene. “You,” he pointed at Kitetsu-Zoro, “calm down.”  

 

“You,” he glared at Shusui-Zoro, “shut up.”

 

“And you!”  he turned to Wado-Zoro,  “... just, sit down.” 

 

Wado-Zoro gave a victorious smirk and sat, hands clasped under his chin smugly.  Kitetsu-Zoro moved across from him and sulked.

 

Sanji began to pull out ingredients for okonomiyaki.  You could put most anything into the savory vegetable pancakes.  He figured he could make a variety to satisfy the three.  

 

“You know,” Sanji glanced over at them as he began to prep and chop the supplies.  “Why didn’t your swords get copied like your clothes and everything else?”  He paused to thank god for small favors.  He didn’t want to imagine having to guide three naked marimos across town.  

 

It was Shusui-Zoro who spoke up.  “These blades are not just some cheap things you can reproduce.”  He sat up to hold Shusui across his lap.  “They have more soul than that.”  He glanced sadly at Wado.

 

Sanji looked them over. “ So what?  You saying your souls split into three right now?”  Shusui-Zoro gave him a look as though that were obvious.

 

Sanji scoffed defensively as he began to mix the batter.  “Great, I’m stuck with grumpy, whiny, and sleepy.” 

 

Shusui-Zoro scowled as the other two contributed their half mumbled complaints.  “No,” he said flatly.  “A soul is more complicated than that.  You cannot just cut a spirit in so clean a manner.”  He held a hand to his chest.  “There is more  _ heart  _ to it than that.  You of all people should know.”

 

Sanji paused for a moment.  “Why marimo, aren’t you the romantic one?”  He smiled warmly.

 

“Wait what?!”  Wado-Zoro stood in a huff.  “You’re impressed with  _ him _ ?!  I’m the one that loves you!”

 

“Oi!” Kitetsu Zoro jumped in.  “Just cause I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t care!”

 

Sanji stood transfixed, not noticing as batter began dripping over the side of the bowl.  His brain looped in a jumble of joy and embarrassment.

 

Shusui-Zoro raised his chin.  “So we agree then?”  The two looked at him before turning to the flustered chef.  Looking at each other, the same slow grin spread across all three faces.  

 

Without a word, three swords were placed on the table, swiftly followed by three shirts.

 

“H-hey now,” Sanji commented as one of them (he wasn’t sure which one anymore) pulled the bowl out of his limp hands, drawing their tongue up the side of the dripping dish.

 

Hands.  There were hands were everywhere.  Sanji registered two holding his hips with both of his wrists being held tenderly.  He suddenly found it too warm for his jacket.

 

The Zoros seemed to agree. The bowl was set to the side as fingers unbuttoned and slid down Sanji’s sides.  He could hardly find it in him to complain.

 

“Were-weren’t you all hungry?”  Sanji breathed heavily.  His belt slid to the floor.   He nearly whimpered as a hand slid down his ass. 

 

“Hmm,” a voice hummed against Sanji’s neck.  “Yeah, but I’m hungry for something else right now.”

 

Sanji found he couldn’t agree more.

 

* * *

 

Sanji  _ really  _ needed a smoke.  A smoke and a shower.  Sprawled atop a bed of sleeping (and somewhat sticky) moss he couldn’t quite decide if he was lucky or very  _ very  _ unlucky.


End file.
